The Run Down

Hi, my name is Lauren, and apparently I have lost my mind.

{obvious delusions of grandeur}

On Friday, November 13th, 2015 (a scant 5 1/2 months from now) I will be getting married in New Orleans, LA. With a date and location like that, it’s probably apparent that my fiancee and I have a soft spot for all things macabre in nature; including (but not limited to) the occult, dark history, and ancient civilizations. That being said, it was still a surprise when my man popped the question in Salem, MA last October (the weekend before Halloween) after several days of enjoying cemeteries, witch trial accounts, monster museums, ghost tours, and even a day trip to the infamous Lizzie Borden House.

KILLING it at Salem’s Old Burying Point Cemetery {… get it? hyuck hyuck hyuck}
always up to no good.

With the majority of planning done, our wedding is shaping up to be nothing short of ominously awesome. Unfortunately, the overachieving perfectionist in me will expect nothing less than the same when it comes to her dress. Now to preface this, I did do my fair share of wedding dress shopping, but NOT, mind you, for the white and creams of traditional wedding dresses- I a’int never been that girl. I looked at dresses in pewters and taupes, mauves and golds, and only out of sheer respect for my quirky, but deep down traditional mother, avoided several hauntingly elegant all black dresses that I would have rocked the hell out of. To be fair though, all black would’ve been TOO easy/predictable and that’s never been my MO; so after several excursions (okay, like, 3- but that’s HUGE for me), I realized nothing I liked was quite the right combination of cut, color, and (lets be honest) price point.

So here I am, brazenly resolute in making my own wedding dress.

“Qualifications?” you say?  “It will end in tears!”, you say? “She’ll crack and buy something at the last minute…” you say?? Okay, so maybe not saying, at least not those of you with tact and manners, but I’m sure most of you are thinking it: She’s lost her damn mind. And maybe I have, but here are the facts:

I DO own a sewing machine, I HAVE sewn entire dresses from patterns *cough*inHighSchool*cough*, and I WAS a Craft & Material Studies major in college. Never you mind that my focus was in Ceramics because I DID take multiple (count ’em: 2) Textiles classes. Most important, however, is now that I’m older I understand things I didn’t in high school and college… for instance the concept of time management and the importance of a well-researched game plan. Plus with the end of my 20s came the less than badass realization that I am, if nothing else, an exceptional follower of directions.

GIVE ME A PATTERN AND I SHALL EXECUTE (just hopefully not myself…)

SEWWWWW…. (c’mon, you know you’re lucky you made it this far) being obnoxiously ahead of schedule on all other planning, I am about to embark on what is most certainly destined to be the pinnacle of my artistic/crafting career: Creating an elegant, unique wedding dress that flatters my figure and doesn’t make my mom wish she’d given me back to the Gypsies when she had the chance. Lucky for those interested in observing what is sure be a potential train wreck at worst and crafting roller coaster at best, I will be documenting its progress right here.

Welcome to the most exciting creative torture I have ever inflicted on myself, hope the rest of you crafty sadists enjoy.


3 thoughts on “The Run Down”

  1. hahaha Lauren! I love you! I would have always assumed you would have beautiful macabre wedding! I can’t wait to follow the progress. Reading this made me laugh and smile because you haven’t changed much at all. I will cross my fingers for you……your poor mom…. oxoxoxoxo ❤ ❤ ❤


    1. hahaha thanks Meregoff! I appreciate the encouragement and am glad you enjoyed reading this post- there will definitely be more to come! Hope you’re doing well! xoxo


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